I am a watcher of people. I guess it's my way of not getting involved. I can observe from a distance and feel as if I am engaged in what is going on. I really enjoy just sitting at the airport, (I know, who enjoys just sitting at the airport?) I like watching people when they are stressed, vulnerable and basically in a hurried state. How many times can one person go through the metal detector before they get all the change out of their pockets? What would make a person drag three kids and four carry-on bags through an airport instead of just checking the dang things? It seems we want to make things as difficult as possible because we think it is somehow easier to do things this way. We expect the act of flying to be stressful, so we do all in our power to make it so. Basically, I think most people are crazy, but his isn't an article on the crazy things people do, but more about the crazy thing I did to prove a theory I have. (Or is it a hypothesis? I forget.)
I wanted to conduct a test to see how much people paid attention to the world around them, and if they noticed the small things that have a tendency to keep me up at night. So last Thursday I began my test.
For about two and a half days I wore two different shoes. They were both tennis shoes with very subtle differences. One was white and blue and the other was grey and blue. I wore these shoes to work, around the house and even to the mall. I watched people's reaction to see if they would even notice. I was sure one person would give me a funny look or at least a second glance. I was also sure one of my closer friends or at least one of my kids would point it out in order to make fun of me. Well after two and a half days I have to tell you, I got nothing. Not a second look, no snickers, nada, zilch. I know the evidence is anecdotal at best, but I truly believe people don't notice what is going on around them.
How many times do we ignore the obvious imperfections around us because we either don't care, don't notice or are too afraid to tell someone that they screwed up. If you had spinach in your teeth, wouldn't you want someone to tell you? We would prefer it was a close friend and not, say a blind date or something, but I think we would all like someone to let us know.
The problem I have is I have a problem doing as I say. I am not one to approach a person and let them know. I am so afraid I will offend the person. I don't want them thinking that I am criticizing them or pointing out some flaw that makes me look like I am above them. (I assure you this is not the case.) It seems like every time I say something to someone they get mad a me and take offense. I am no better than anyone else so when I tell someone something it is with the noblest of intentions. I am not offended if someone tells me when I screwed up, made a mistake or did something inappropriate. It is how we learn about ourselves and other people. I guess we are just afraid we don't know people as well as we think. We may perceive one thing and find out when we approach someone that they are completely different than we imagined. A scary thought, so I have always thought that it is safer on the sidelines.
A small anecdote about how perceptions can change in a minute. I was at the dog park with Truman when I saw a young lady. I have to say she was quite stunning. Very tall, form fitting jeans, small sequined cami. (I live with three women, I know what a cami is,) Looking very good for the dog park, I must say. We were hanging out by the lake for quite a while, and I had formed an image in my head about here. Popular, successful, Everything perfect, clothes, hair, job, life. She seemed to have it all together. Then it happened. She reached in her back pocket and pulled out a can of Copenhagen, flipped it twice and took a big dip. This is not a condemnation of tobacco and tobacco related products, but really? My perception changed instantly. It made me start to think what people think of me from the sidelines. What perceptions have they formed in their heads? How much more would they learn about me if they approached me and told me, "Hey, you know your wearing two different shoes." Then they would learn that I am a mentally ill idiot who conducts social experiments for fun. See how much were can learn about each other by stepping on the field.
So if I take my own advice I guess I better get more involved, get in the game, start telling people they have something in their teeth, (like Copenhagen). The sidelines are getting crowded, and I don't like crowds, so time to get moving. Enjoy the day, enjoy each other, and don't be afraid to help each other out. Check your teeth. Check my shoes, and for goodness sake, if your a hot girl, ditch the Copenhagen. Really. It messes with my head.
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