Peacocks and Neural Pathways

     Much has been discussed about the use of Earth's resources for our own personal gain and amusement. We use way too much of the Earth's gifts for things that we don't really need. It wasn't always this way, though. In the past we used the abundance of resources in order to survive. We took trees and animals to live. We took just enough to provide for our families or tribes or whatever. We killed animals to eat, chopped down trees to build our homes. We began harvesting oil from the Earth to heat our homes, and unfortunately we harvested it from such things as whales for the same reason.
       Some where along the way we became so good at living that we moved on from merely surviving to creating things for novelty purposes only. We convince ourselves we need these things, sure, but they are really to make things easier or more fun. We don't really need that new Ipod to survive. I was surviving five years ago just fine, so I don't think that I really need it. We are just so overwhelmed with abundant resources that we use them to our lives more fun interesting, etc.
     Let's take a look at the peacock. A proud bird, noble feathers, all that. You get it. Were you aware that the the peacock with the more abundant resources has the more beautiful tail. If he has more water available. If he has more nutritious food, he will develop a more beautiful tail. Of course this is to attract mates to the best of the best. It also makes him more vulnerable to predators. He is more easy to spot, and moves much slower due to the added weight of the tail.
     Let's take a look at us. With more money and resources we make ourselves more attractive to others. If we have more money we buy a hot car, hot wife, hot coffee, etc. We are showing off our tail. The problem is dopamine. Yes, it's time for a look at my brain. Our brains reward us for new, exciting and novel things and ideas. The act of buying our first Lamborghini is very exciting and our brain rewards us with a little shot of Dopamine. Nice. We like it so we try it again. The next time we buy a Lamborghini, however, its not the same. It's not new and novel anymore. Not the same rush.
     I was pondering all the tings that I think I want and whether I need them or I just wanted to obtain them for the rush. This made me think about Las Vegas. These people have it all figured out. I decided that when I went last fall that my goal wasn't really to come home with a lot of money. My goal was to win money. The act of winning is where the rush is. I could have thousands of dollars in my pocket, but get blackjack and win ten dollars, that's where the rush is. My brain gives me little reward and I go out looking for more.
     The problem with this thinking is it will never end. Soon nothing will satiate my need for a little Dopamine shot to the neural pathways and the reward system of my brain. You see, my brain loves rewards. So here's my idea. What if we could convince ourselves and everyone else that it is most exciting not to want things and to save resources. The more you save the more of a peacock you are. "Damn, look at his feathers, he must totally be off the grid." If the big consumers (I am not one) could just see there is value in non-consuming, maybe that's where the next big rush will come from.
     I am no peacock, I have found my mate, and could care less about a sports car, so I guess I'm safe from predators for now. But, I'm going to try and be aware of the big bad wolf. Do I really need those things? Do I just want to buy them because the act of spending on new things is exciting? I do love new stuff, so this is going to be a tough one. I also know this came across as a little preachy, so I apologize to the loyal reader. This is merely a lesson for me, not advice for everyone.

Love and Rockets

  

Terrestrial Observations From Super Low Earth Orbit

    May I first apologize to those of you that have been looking for my next post. I was very sick for about a week after returning from Philadelphia, then it seemed like we became so busy that I had to start cutting things out, like writing my blog. Well, I'm back with a new found spirit and motivation, so lets get this train rolling again.
    I am a watcher of people. I guess it's my way of not getting involved. I can observe from a distance and feel as if I am engaged in what is going on. I really enjoy just sitting at the airport, (I know, who enjoys just sitting at the airport?) I like watching people when they are stressed, vulnerable and basically in a hurried state. How many times can one person go through the metal detector before they get all the change out of their pockets? What would make a person drag three kids and four carry-on bags through an airport instead of just checking the dang things? It seems we want to make things as difficult as possible because we think it is somehow easier to do things this way. We expect the act of flying to be stressful, so we do all in our power to make it so. Basically, I think most people are crazy, but his isn't an article on the crazy things people do, but more about the crazy thing I did to prove a theory I have. (Or is it a hypothesis? I forget.)
    I wanted to conduct a test to see how much people paid attention to the world around them, and if they noticed the small things that have a tendency to keep me up at night. So last Thursday I began my test.
     For about two and a half days I wore two different shoes. They were both tennis shoes with very subtle differences. One was white and blue and the other was grey and blue. I wore these shoes to work, around the house and even to the mall. I watched people's reaction to see if they would even notice. I was sure one person would give me a funny look or at least a second glance. I was also sure one of my closer friends or at least one of my kids would point it out in order to make fun of me. Well after two and a half days I have to tell you, I got nothing. Not a second look, no snickers, nada, zilch. I know the evidence is anecdotal at best, but I truly believe people don't notice what is going on around them.
     How many times do we ignore the obvious imperfections around us because we either don't care, don't notice or are too afraid to tell someone that they screwed up. If you had spinach in your teeth, wouldn't you want someone to tell you? We would prefer it was a close friend and not, say a blind date or something, but I think we would all like someone to let us know.
     The problem I have is I have a problem doing as I say. I am not one to approach a person and let them know. I am so afraid I will offend the person. I don't want them thinking that I am criticizing them or pointing out some flaw that makes me look like I am above them. (I assure you this is not the case.) It seems like every time I say something to someone they get mad a me and take offense. I am no better than anyone else so when I tell someone something it is with the noblest of intentions. I am not offended if someone tells me when I screwed up, made a mistake or did something inappropriate. It is how we learn about ourselves and other people. I guess we are just afraid we don't know people as well as we think. We may perceive one thing and find out when we approach someone that they are completely different than we imagined. A scary thought, so I have always thought that it is safer on the sidelines.
    A small anecdote about how perceptions can change in a minute. I was at the dog park with Truman when I saw a young lady. I have to say she was quite stunning. Very tall, form fitting jeans, small sequined cami. (I live with three women, I know what a cami is,)  Looking very good for the dog park, I must say. We were hanging out by the lake for quite a while, and I had formed an image in my head about here. Popular, successful, Everything perfect, clothes, hair, job, life. She seemed to have it all together. Then it happened. She reached in her back pocket and pulled out a can of Copenhagen, flipped it twice and took a big dip. This is not a condemnation of tobacco and tobacco related products, but really? My perception changed instantly. It made me start to think what people think of me from the sidelines. What perceptions have they formed in their heads? How much more would they learn about me if they approached me and told me, "Hey, you know your wearing two different shoes." Then they would learn that I am a mentally ill idiot who conducts social experiments for fun. See how much were can learn about each other by stepping on the field.
     So if I take my own advice I guess I better get more involved, get in the game, start telling people they have something in their teeth, (like Copenhagen). The sidelines are getting crowded, and I don't like crowds, so time to get moving. Enjoy the day, enjoy each other, and don't be afraid to help each other out. Check your teeth. Check my shoes, and for goodness sake, if your a hot girl, ditch the Copenhagen. Really. It messes with my head.

Eeyore's Silver Lining

I have a problem always seeing the negative and letting it get in the way of the positive. (No matter how trivial the negative may be.) The thing that makes this my way of thinking is that I seem to be followed by a dark cloud most of the time. It hovers over me day and night. If something could go wrong it probably will. Murphy's law. (There is a chapter in Murphy's book devoted to me.) Well, I think its time to look for the positive. Start being more like eeyore. Yes, it's true, Eeyore looks to the positive.

"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.

"So it is."

"And freezing."

"Is it?"

"Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately."

Well, there wasn't an earthquake, but let me tell you of my trip to Philadelphia this past weekend. It was a great idea in the planning stages. Cathie was presenting at a conference out there and had a room for a few nights. Madeline and I decided we would go out for a couple of days and check out the sights.
     As an airline employee, I fly standby for the flights. Things were very tight for us when Madeline and I left on Friday, but thanks to a friend, we made it on our flights and got to Philadelphia.
     We took the train from the airport to downtown. I had studied the map over and over so I knew where I was going to go when I got off the train. Madeline and I left the train station and headed south. Wrong. After walking many blocks we realized (thanks to a phone call from my wife) that we had gone the wrong way. It was cold and rainy, great day for a walk. We got to the hotel and headed for the pool. I needed some hot tub time to wash away my frustration. Joining us were six of the noisiest kids the earth has ever seen or heard. Madeline and I both agreed to go back to our room because it was way too loud. (Sounds like I'm turning into a grumpy old man, "Damn noisy kids anyway")
     The next day we got going early and spent the day sightseeing, just Madeline and I. We got back to the room about five o'clock and I checked on the flights for the following day. I wanted to see if we were going to fly out of Newark or Philadelphia, and what time a flight left that had room for the three of us. Well, for those of you who watched the news last weekend, there were a lot of storms out east, (including one over my head.) Flights were canceling up and down the east coast. We had no way to fly back home. The only alternative was to rent a car from Philadelphia, and drive the 1200 miles back home so we could be to work monday morning. We rushed out of the room and grabbed a cab for the airport. In our haste I lost the bag of souvenirs Madeline had so carefully picked out at the gift shop. I forgot my toothbrush. Not a big deal until you realize it is a $100 Sonicaire toothbrush. My camera lens broke.($650 for that one.)
     We had to pay the cab driver a good chunk of money for the ride. Finally a few hundred dollars later we had a car. We could see it through the window. It was about a hundred yards away. Did I mention it was the heaviest downpour I have ever seen? We got to the car, I proceded to load it in the pouring rain, getting soaked down to the skin. I was tired and miserable, and now I had to drive twenty hours, overnight, in the pouring rain to get home. We did eventually make it back to Kansas. I caught a bad cold from the whole ordeal, but are no worse for the wear. One thing I wanted to reflect on is Madeline and my day together, because how soon we forget what we got to do because of what we had to do.
    I realized that I would gladly do it all over again. Madeline and I had the best day together. It is not often just the two of us get to spend time together. We rode around Philly in a double decker bus and visited all the sights. Her and I ran up the "Rocky Steps" and jumped around like a couple of tourists. We saw independence Hall and the Liberty Bell. We made a wish on Bejamin Franklin's grave. We ate Philly cheese steak sandwiches while checking out the Reading Terminal Market. Betsy Ross's house, a masonic temple, city hall, wonderful works of art everywhere were ours to explore. It was a wonderful day together that I wouldn't have traded for anything.
     My free trip ended up costing me plenty, but I got much more in return. A memory to last a lifetime. So I again will try not to lose sight of the good stuff because of the crap surrounding it. At least there wasn't an earthquake.

Chasm Jumper

As promised here is the first official installment of my blog ‘The Space Between’.

I have decided to take this adventure into my overloaded and often misguided brain, slow. Much like Dante’s adventure into hell, or on the lighter side, Donkey’s (Shrek) personality. My brain contains many layers. Each layer more confusing and often more frightening than the previous. That is why I have decided to ease you, poor reader,  one step at a time, starting with the outer layer. The one you see most often.  And today I will bring you a piece of that. One thing that makes me very happy.

There is an old Ojibwa legend that says when God created the earth, He created all the animals and then he created man. In order to show man’s dominion over all of the animal kingdom, God created a wide chasm. Only the dog tried to find a way across to join man. He tried to jump the huge chasm but only his forepaws reached the far edge. Man reached down and pulled him to safety, saying “you shall be my companion forever.”  This is the story of my Chasm Jumper.

A few years ago I lost my dog and faithful companion, Mulligan. A beautiful Samoyed who was indeed a true friend. I marked this day as a turning point in my life. Everything seemed to run downhill from there. Nothing was quite right in my world. A series of disappointments followed, too numerous and mundane to mention. (They did not seem mundane at the time, but it is all a matter of perspective, isn’t it, reader?) I felt like I was being punished for something and that day. I remember the day very clearly; it was July 4^th, 2008, the day the dam broke. I will save that story for another day; this is supposed to be a happy story.

Well, hearts mend, sadness fades and we learn to go on. He was a dog, for goodness sake. We know we are going to outlive them. It’s inevitable. We enjoy them while they are here with us, and we should be thankful each day we get to spend with them. The story of a dog never has a happy ending, just a happy middle. Take ‘Old Yeller,’ ‘Where the Red Fern Grows’, not happy endings, but wonderful middles.

This brings me to my best buddy, a true mamma’s boy, Truman Kalel. (I don’t blame him for loving his momma, I happen to feel the same about her.) He came into my life two summers ago and I look at him as if he jumped the chasm just for me. I realize that he is a dog, and that I anthropomorphize way too much, but for those of you who have a loyal companion such as mine will know the love and strength a dog can bring you.

Truman is a blue merle Australian Shepherd.  A very smart and loyal breed. He is a constant companion who never judges, always listens, and is there for me regardless of what I need. If I need to just go for a walk to shake some things off, bounce some ideas off him for a project, or if I just need some quiet time on the couch he is there with me. In fact he is here by my side now watching me type this up. I am concerned he might be offended by the fact that I called him a dog on numerous occasions, because he is way more than that.

People have a hard time achieving happiness in their lives. They tend to get wrapped up in their own little world. People get confused because they do not know what they need or want, and then depression sets in. Dogs do not have this problem. They know exactly what makes them happy---doing something for someone.

So if you see me with Truman, know that we are doing something that makes us both very happy, spending time with one another. Not complaining, judging, whining or criticizing, just hanging out, and what could be better than that. So thank you Truman for jumping the chasm when I needed you most.

He is your friend, your partner, your defender; your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.

A moving testament to a dog’s loyalty was found in the ruins of Pompeii: A dog had thrown himself over his young master’s body as the volcano erupted in AD 79. Archaeologists discovered the pair almost 2000 years later.

Steve……………………

First post

    Inspired by an old friend in Minnesota, I have decided to begin writing a blog. It is more for me than anyone, so I won't be offended if you don't care for it. I came to the conclusion while stuffed in an MRI the other day that I was going about things wrong, and that things needed to be changed. I needed a new focus in life. (A lot of strange thoughts go through your head when your stuck in a tube for 40 minutes with no possibility of escape.)
    I decided that I was spending way too much time and energy in the pursuit of happiness. One of the things entitled to all Americans along with life and liberty. Instead of spending my life pursuing the thing that may make me happy, I thought I should be doing the things that make me happy.
    One thing that I enjoy doing very much is writing. I have no formal skills at this, as you have probably decided by this point, but I find it a good way to get the tens of thousands of ideas that are constantly swirling in my brain, out. I need to purge these constant observations that I mull over and that keep me awake at night.
    As my wife will tell you, even the smallest fact, observation, or idea can bother me so much that I can't seem to move on.
    So, reader, this is where I plan to purge. Let my thoughts flow free. Some things may be positive and inspirational, other posts may just be about something that is bugging me at that time. I look forward to feedback to prove or disprove that I am indeed going crazy, or hopefully, changing my life and attitude for the better.
    For those of you who are not Dave Matthew fans, The Space Between is a song that describes a person dealing with a lot of crap over here, and a lot of negativity over here. "The space between is were you'll find me waiting for you." I will refer to this song on other occasions, reader, so you may want to check it out. 
    For those friends who have shown some concern, I am not depressed or losing it. I am fine. There has just been a barrage of crap thrown my way over the last year, that enough is enough. God, if you are indeed testing me, though it is not for me to decide, I think I passed already.
    So reader, give it a chance. You might find something that you have thought about as well. You may totally disagree with me, which is fine. But give it a chance.
    Thanks for reading reader.